I’ve been in a relationship for almost ten years now which has been great. Like most relationships, we have our ups and downs. Recently, my fiancé lost his father (may he rests in peace) and has been a dark space every since…. His father left behind his wife, fiancé mom, and a bunch of incomplete tasks like his house his shed their father and son business… now my fiancé whom I’m supposed to be marrying in December feels he gotta finish all these tasks to pay tribute to his father. He’s even thinking of taking his fathers old job even though he just got a promotion at his job. He said his dads company offered it so he’s gonna take it even if that means less income for our family. We have two children together. We are currently living with my mom. He feels paying rent or utilities is problematic because when my stayed with us she lived their rent and utilities free and that I shouldn’t have a problem with him wanting to finish these tasks for his mom so he say…. First it was I need to clean off my fathers truck then it’s I need to organize his shed now it’s I gotta finish the house I gotta take his old job. I feel the fixation is not healthy. I lost my father too. It was difficult but I managed. Just recently lost my uncle… my fiancé is lost and doesn’t know how to cope. I do know what to do to help him. I want him to grieve he needs that and I don’t mind him being there for his mother but his mom can hire a contractor to this labor. It’s unfair to subject him to this in my mind. He already works long hours… the more he fixate on the tasks he has to do the less time he spends with his boys and me… Am I wrong for telling him that isn’t his responsibility and that his responsibility is to his kids and his future wife not to his mom. I understand being there for his mom in her time of grief that’s all anyone can do but taking on these huge projects trying to fill his fathers shoes to me it’s excessive and unnecessary but because I feel like this he’s starting to hate me. I need advice. What should I do? Who’s to say when he finish these projects that he isn’t going to find one more thing that’s wrong and one more thing… we’ll be in a constant cycle of him trying to prove to his deceased dad that he’s worthy or wanting him to be proud… idk but I need help.