UPDATE

We are stil trying to figure out what we can do. My husband asked for a larger mortgage. They are proposing 80k more. I guess it's better than before. I will have 80k left in my bank account and the amount of our monthly payment will not increase exponentially. He also asked to make sure we have included insurance fees in the mortgage so that if something happens to him or if he loses his job (our current income basically), the insurance will come in to keep us afloat. His financial advisor says contrary to what the bank says, I have to have my name on the deed because we do not have separated assets. So my husband called the bank again and they said they will see what they can do; they will call the central offices to check. Also the construction company agreed to move the signature date in November until we figure how to do this. My husband had everyone on speaker for me to hear the conversations. I feel he meant I am toxic as not supporting him or doubting his intentions on this. I don't know😔.

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My husband and I are buying an apartment. I have saved 230k. He wanted to buy one promoted by a construction company. In total we will have to pay 500k. (Amounts in euros). The way the contract is set up, we pay 5k for 12 months and then the rest in one go. I wanted to buy something different (cheaper with the money I had saved), but I thought he knows better because he has bought and sold properties before, so I agreed. We paid the 5k per month from his salary this last year. He wanted me to stay at home for a few years, until the children go to school, so I work here and there since getting married, nothing substantial. It pays part of our grocery shopping. So 60k+230k=290. 500-290=210k we will pay through a mortgage. We thought we are all set, but now the bank says that because I am not a fiscal resident of the country, my husband will have to take the mortgage only on his name and have the apartment on his name.

For context: we live in Europe. We moved to where he is from upon marriage, and his financial advisor has been adamant that I cannot become a fiscal resident of his country.

I am very sad because I will lose all my money with nothing to show for and I have no job at the moment. And I said this to my husband and that I had told him to ask around and figure a way to make me a fiscal resident of his country, get a second opinion, and he says I am being toxic and I am treating him bad by saying these things. I asked him to put himself in my place and he says still I am being toxic. I then told him he does not care because he is in a position of financial power and security right now, while I am not, and then he said, "don't worry, you will keep your money". So I guess he means he will ask for a bigger mortgage. Am I toxic that I want us to be equal partners?

******Edit to answer some questions ********

First thank you all.

I am still a fiscal resident of my country. I own my company and was always working as a contractor and now I pitch in some projects here and there when work acquaintances ask me to do so; I do it remotely, for the pocket money and to stay current. The financial advisor says that for this reason I cannot become a fiscal resident of where my husband is from. I have a resident's number and a health insurance number (how they call it here), but not a tax number. I declare back home the little money I earn now and my husband just notes that in his income declaration. I.e. that he is married and his spouse has paid her income tax abroad. But I am ready and willing to move my one person company seat here, to this country. His financial advisor says that I need to own or rent a property here to put down as the seat of my company if I move it here, or to completely close my company, have no fiscal ties to my country. Otherwise it's not possible. My husband does not want us to rent any space for that (it would be annually more than what I earn), his parents don't want me to put down their address because they say that the tax office (how they call it) will pay a visit to verify the address and we don't own anything here together. This would have been my first purchase.

And yes we are legally married, registered as such in his country as well as mine.