Did having a third baby put a damper on your marriage?

Question

My marriage dynamic is amazing with our two kids. The boys are 9 and 7. Im scared to start all over again and have it put a big damper on our marriage. But, I guess YOLO is ever so present when it comes to a third.🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

This is horrible, but my sisters marriage struggled hard after her 3rd child. She had two sons, who were 8 and 6 when the third was born and it was like all the sudden it was craziness. They barely went out since the 3 boys were kind of hard to take care of due to their difference in ages and wildness. She said they never had time for each other anymore and were just too exhausted to focus on each other. Her husband ended up having an affair. They are still together and working through it but she said that adding another child to the mix really through a wrench in things. HOWEVER, it is different for everyone. Some people get even closer. And some would get torn apart regardless. If you feel like its the right thing for you then it's a good thing. I think the most important thing is to try and plan how you are going to prioritize your marriage and have these discussions now so you are better prepared when the baby comes!

Answer

I'm the 3rd kid in my family. My sisters are 5 and 7 years older than me. My parents marriage survived, but I still feel to this day that having me was a mistake. I was a surprise, as my mom was already beginning menopause when she had me and had to go on medication at the start of her pregnancy or I wouldn't have survived. I'm not healthy, and I cost my parents thousands of dollars they couldn't afford on medications I needed. I grew up believing I was a burden on my family because they could have lived comfortably if I wasn't born, I still struggle with that mentality. Mom and Dad argued a lot, over finances, or the way they were raising me compared to my sisters due to the age gap. Growing up with an age gap between me and my sisters was hard too, I had to deal with them being teenagers going through their "I hate everything" stages when I was still too young to understand. Having one more kid because you're scared you're missing out on something isn't rational or reasonable. If your other kids found out you decided to have another kid because of FOMO they might feel like they weren't good enough for you because you're so concerned you're missing out on something. If you're going to have another, do it because you and your partner truly want one more, not cause you feel like you're gonna miss out on something if you don't.

Answer

My third born made things harder which makes my husband and me a little more short fused, but honestly the transition to 3 was so much easier for us then the other transitions.

Did having a third baby put a damper on your marriage?

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