My SO and I have had our share of struggles over the last 2 years, if you want to know more please refer to my profile, however we have been trying to work on things. My biggest struggle is my trust in him, at this point I question everything. We have had so many conversations, most turn into fights but on occasion we have calm talks. Last night was one of those calm talks after several blow ups. He wants me to be open about how I'm feeling about everything so it got pretty serious, but part of that conversation entailed me talking about the infidelity and trying to understand the reasoning behind it and how those things happen when you love someone, esp when your talking to and telling that person you love them at the same time you are making your decisions. Ultimately, it resulted in him getting upset because I keep throwing it in his face, describing details that aren't needed and reliving it more than needed. I know that no answer will ever be enough to fix my trust or the relationship that we had but how do I communicate this hurt to him to try to move past it, if all I do is upset him, make him mad or make him feel like I'm just throwing it in his face? I struggle with communication already, so when I do communicate like asked and he gets upset at what I'm feeling or need to talk about how do I keep communicating?