My wife is a liar. She lies, omits, bends the truth, manipulates the truth, however you want to paint it. She’s a liar. She lies about small things, she lies about big things. She lies to me, her family, friends, work. She lies to everyone. And when she gets caught in lies, she doubles down rather than fessing up. For a long time I thought she just lied to other people, then I caught her in lies with me. For a while I thought it was better but the truth is she just became a better liar.

I daughter her in a lie last week and rather than fessing up she just made up a convoluted story. When I told her that it hurt me she was still lying, she gave a very half assed apology that was basically her saying she was sorry I was upset but not sorry that she lied.

I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t trust anything that comes out of her mouth. I don’t trust that she ever is where she says she is. I never know what she’s really hiding, how she really feels, what she really thinks.

I get where this part of her personality comes from. It’s due to some unresolved trauma with her mom. I get it. But she’s barely done anything to work on that trauma. It took me wanting a divorce to finally get her to consider therapy, even then she gave up after a couple months and lied about how often she was seeing her therapist. After I started looking for a new place to live, she went back to therapy and has been pretty consistent.

We have other issues, namely her drinking and our inability to effectively communicate. But trust has to be in the foundation…and I just don’t know how to conquer this