no oral because i’m insecure

the other day during one of our sexy times my bf asked me if i’d ever 69ed before to which i said no because i hadn’t. he wanted to do it but i came up with some excuse😔

i’m extremely insecure about being given oral. i am insecure about my labia (it’s not super long or droopy, but it’s not “pretty and neat” either and the nicknames of “meat curtains” or “arby sandwiches” doesn’t help). i am insecure about my razor bumps and ingrown hairs (no matter how much i exfoliate or shave a certain way, i still don’t get a bump free bikini line). i am insecure about the smell (i know it’s not supposed to smell like roses, and it doesn’t smell horrible but i can’t help but think about him gagging at my scent).

i have been given oral two times. once by a hookup and once by my bf. it felt alright (better with my bf than the hookup) but i never felt like i could truly enjoy it because i’m just terrified and insecure. my bf tries to do it every now and then but i typically stop him and tell him that i just want him to put it in and for us to have sex. i have no idea what to do. i want my bf to have a full sexual experience and i want one too but i just can’t get past this and feel so ugly. i’m literally crying because i’m so frustrated :(