Heart Broken

After 3 years of trying my husband and I saw our first two pink lines early October. We were due in June and couldn’t believe it.

Since I was an at risk pregnancy we had an early ultrasound yesterday. We got to hear the heart beat.. but the baby was ectopic. It was in my tube not my uterus.

We had to terminate the pregnancy because it would cause me Harm. I’m so crushed. It was so hard to hear the sound I’ve been dying to hear for years, and not be able to save the pregnancy.

I’m grateful for modern medicine, if this was in the old days.. it would have killed me. Though I wish I was in the future to where they could save it.

We named the baby our little June bug and I’ll never forget it. Trying to keep our heads high, we got pregnant finally. We can get pregnant again. My doctor kept reminding us at least we know our egg and sperm like each other. The baby grew the way it was supposed to, it was healthy, it was just in a dangerous place. (Which makes saying goodbye even harder)

I’m just scared that I’ll never get a baby to implant into my uterus.

We love you little June. We will miss you and long for you.