Okay so I have been struggling with postpartum depression. These last 2 years have been so hard. I am originally from the states and all my family lives in the states. My husband and I have been married almost 6 years. Having a lack of interest in one another. We have 4 kids under the age of 5. Like I said the last 2 years have been hard living in Canada. 2 months ago I started talking to guy that I was/still am in love with before I met my husband. We talked on Instagram and my husband found the message snooping through my account saying he needed a “family picture for work” confronted me about it. Then said he forgave me the next evening. I continue to talk to my friend. Telling my husband I stopped. Then he goes on my Facebook messager reading all my stuff on there. Snooping again, I’m so posed at him and he is loosing it on me. Crying and saying he has no one but me. I admit that I have been having an emotional affair. 2 days later I try to kill myself. My husband then sends me to the hospital, I’m so pissed at him for stopping me from hurting him anymore. We are both in therapy now and I’m also on a higher dose of meds. I still have feelings for my friend and I want to see what happens. Why when my husband wants to try to keep us together? I’m still talking to my friend I love him and he tells me he loves me to and that we should have never stopped our relationship. What should I do? Is their something wrong with me?