What's wrong with me?

So... I found out my mom passed away two days ago... I was with my boyfriend and his 4 kids,(,I post on here about stories with them. He has them all by different women but has custody of them). She had a brain aneurysm. My thing is I talked to her and hour before I found out she died. I haven't cried not once because while I know she's gone, in expecting her to call saying it was all a big misunderstanding. My boyfriend's son Max made me dinner since I wanted to be home alone. I just don't understand how you can talk to someone and they become dead in an hour.... I'm trying to cry but I can't! Why! I know my mom is gone. Why can't my brain accept that? Why am I expecting her to call or come through my door😢😢😢😢