My husband and I have been fighting since early August due to I felt like he was cheating on me. Changed his phone password then he spent the weekends out not coming home until well into 1-2 in the afternoon (after hours club he hangs at closes at 4am). Blamed it on him waiting on his brother who was living with us visiting another girl and he didn’t want to leave him since he didn’t have a car so slept in the car. Yet couldn’t respond to any texts.

Our anniversary rolls around, didn’t acknowledge it and somehow everything swung to being my fault for “being dramatic”, not giving a chance to do anything and etc. Weeks proceeding that, he kept saying how he wanted a fresh start but like I told him felt like he was hiding something and whenever I’d say how his explanation just didn’t sound right he’d loose his shit saying how I was just accusing him and letting my best friend get into my ear. Even at one point called her a “bitch ruining his marriage” and I should cut her off until I point blank said she’s literally the only friend I have since my mom died and I refuse.

Fast forward to about two weeks ago, I finally got fed up took a bag and went to hang with my coworker for the weekend about a hour away. I came home to him having everything gone besides the things I bought and took my ring (usually leave it on the nightstand due to have issues with fingers swelling). He said some harsh things about how I embarrassed him in front of his brother leaving, I ruined the marriage by “doing me with whoever” in another city and he’d sign the divorce papers whenever. Then funny enough tried coming back to talk it out and move back in two days later.

I told him no, needed time to think since things got so escalated and then I checked the mailbox a few days later open this strange letter from planned parenthood to find out he has gonorrhea and chlamydia. He first tried to tell me he didn’t cheat until I brought up the fact we both got tested TOGETHER before we got married in June and he was fine. Then he finally confessed to everything, apparently was at a party and not one but two girls. I admittedly lost my shit and he tried to spin it to he didn’t think head was cheating and “man logic”.

Told him how I was filing for divorce and if he wanted me back he needed to earn me. Now the last two days later, get this long message about how can I expect him to fix things if he isn’t even allowed to move back in. He can’t “force me to want to fix us”. Like bro, you made the choice to leave, you made the choice to cheat and if you so called loved me so bad, you’d made the choice to put in work get me back. All I want is to feel secure in my own marriage and feel like I’m wanted.

I thought I did everything right, waiting until after university and dating for 3 years but now less than a year of marriage, it’s blowing up in my face. Him being so blah and hateful is not the man I married or at least thought I knew. I’m 24, now isolated even worst due to this corona, no family, best friend tried of hearing my shit and all I can do is cry.

I don’t even know what I’m asking but y’all usually give good advice, can I please just have support. And yes I have a appointment Thursday to get tested/treated.

Thank you ladies for all your kind words and hearing me out.💜