So the title says the gist of it. My husband and I own a nice home! It has an in law suite in the basement. His older brother rents it. They lived together before I was in the picture and I agreed as he has his own space and “should stay out of ours” now it’s been 2 and half years in to owning the home! (For the record I am not on the house. My husband is the only true owner in terms of a mortgage) and his brother pays rent.

But I am f$&@ing fed up. His brother yells all hours of the day and night at his freakin computer, he never cleans, the suite smells so badly I can smell it upstairs most days which drives me mad as I am a fairly clean person.

He doesn’t hold a job for longer than 6 months and is now back on employment insurance with seemingly no interest to find another job. He does always pay rent on time etc, but I can’t handle it.

We have a 15 month old daughter, 3 dogs and another baby due in less than 16 weeks. I’ve brought this up to my husband and while he agrees his brothers behaviour is both extremely annoying and taxing we can’t seem to get through to him that he needs to change.

He does have major mental illness, like depression, ADHD etc but refuses therapy or any kind of help (us and his parents have tried) so kicking him out is basically telling him to off himself which he would then hold over us and my husband being that he loves his brother just can’t do it to him.

But I’m at the end of my rope. I CANT be home all day taking care of 2 kids and trying to get them sleeping, learning etc while he’s screaming at his computer and generally refusing to be an adult. It’s already given me such bad rage issues while pregnant because I just can’t handle the noise and the lack of privacy. He’s also constantly up in our space taking our things without asking etc etc.

I don’t want to give my husband an ultimatum but I feel stuck. His brother clearly won’t grow up and won’t change or get help and it’s affecting my mental well being as well as I don’t want my kids seeing his awful behaviour or coping the awful words he feels the need to scream through the house… I want this solved before our second daughter arrives…

Sorry for the long post but I’m just mentally drained and needed to vent..