AITA? Please read description.

Question

Husband surprised me with a birthday/ Christmas gift for a trip to Hawaii. Initial reaction: froze and was speechless due to shock. I hug him say thanks. Then I say is well now you really need to work on your will and living trust. I then start looking into what we need to go on this trip (paperwork) and looking into an itinerary. A couple hours later, I can tell he's annoyed and it's the fact my reaction wasn't "pumped" and "super excited". He's also upset that my first thought is we're going to die on this trip. And who thinks about a Will or Trust after being told they're going on vacation? I told him when we don't have one and we have 3 young kids.. What got him to stop and think was when I mentioned that 7 years ago his best friend (new dad/husband at the time) was a bit annoyed/shocked at him for not having his Will or Trust set for me and our son. 
Now we have 3 kids under 7 and I've been getting on him for 7 years to finish his Will and Trust (I have nothing in my name, SAHM). This will be my first time leaving our kids and not coming home that same night. I already am anxious about our 10 year anniversary trip in July 2022 where we'll be gone for 2 weeks. When that trip was booked I said I need to start with babysteps leading up to that trip.  Let's start with an overnight staycation a few towns over and gradually go up from there to help ease my anxiety. 
I have mental health problems (anxiety and depression, yes I've sought out help) so he knows that big changes sorta freaks me out and I'm on edge. He knows I hate riding on an airplane and heights. He knows even when we go on a date, I enjoy myself but in the back of my mind I start going through the what if's and silently praying we'll get home safe. I've been through the foster system and it frickin sucks. I don't want our kids to go through that. The thought of our kids not having a legal document stating whom we'd like to be their guardian(s) and left with nothing scares me. He says I'll (him) be dead they'll figure it out. I don't want my MIL to be going to court fighting the State or my family for our kids or money or estate. Not even 20 hours had passed when my grandmother passed that they (my family) were fighting over her house, valuables, money, etc. Sorry that was long. AITA for not enthusiastically showing excitement and instead was thinking about our kids future..just in case?
Side note: I'm definitely grateful and blessed for being able to go on a vacation like this. Just anxious.

Answer

I wouldn't say YTA but I can understand how bringing up such a subject after such a nice surprise can be considered a damper. Maybe it would have been better to bring up your concerns afterwards. But obviously there's nothing you can do about it now, except just explain your anxiety.

Answer

Your response was inappropriate for a typical person....given your past and your anxiety issues, it is far more understandable to me why you reacted this way. I would go so far as to question if this gift was truly for you if youre basically going to hate it. I mean normally people would be like, vacay to Hawaii, wahoooo but knowing you dont like to fly or leave your kids, it's questionable if you would actually like this gift. Example I love concerts but my husband gets anxious in crowds and doesnt like loud music, I buy him concerts tickets for his bday then Im bummed he isnt stoked about it....duh. Not cool of me, the gift was more cuz I like it and most people would too, but wasnt actually to make my husband happy.

Answer

I can understand why he would be upset. He probably worked really hard to gift you a trip of a lifetime and you immediately think of the worst case scenario. That's not your fault though that's what mom's do lol that's normal but probably should have kept that thought to yourself till the moment was over and maybe talked about it later. Nobody is an asshole here I understand both sides completely.

Answer

To be fair, you should have dealt with living wills etc when you had your first child. It’s a bit absurd to say you’re that concerned but have not sorted it 2 more kids later. I mean, that’s 2 more years at least… and go to therapy to sort yourself. I’m sure it’s exhausting to worry about dying all the time.

Answer

Sounds like neither of you are the ahole, but perhaps you need to talk with eachother a little more. You need to be each other’s team mates and that means explaining yourselves and your motives sometimes. Maybe he had high hopes to “sweep you off your feet” with this trip and is a little crestfallen? Maybe he doesn’t understand your idea of a good plan to tackle your anxieties. Personally I think this is totally fixable and that you just both need to talk. You’ve got lots of blessings and great things ahead, this is just a bump in the road and it can totally be handled, calmly, and resolved.

Answer

You could die in your own neighborhood too so choosing to turn his gift into pushing for a will is not exactly appropriate and your timing sucks.

Answer

You are ABSOLUTLEY NOT the a$$hole here. To be quite honest your attention to reality and commitment to your children is admirable. 
You are planning ou these long trips where you will be traversing great distance. It's important that before you do leave (in all truth you should have this done already, but better late than never) you have documents in place that have all your directives laid out. These are your children. It is of absolute importance that those left behind know exactly where the children will go and how the assets will be allocated for them. Otherwise chaos can ensue and the only ones left hurting are your kids.

Answer

I feel I would totally react in the same way haha

AITA? Please read description.

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