How do you decide?

Question

For those of you who have partners and travel to families houses on Thanksgiving/Christmas  how do you all decide where to go first each year? I try to go to his grandma's first one year and then the next year we go to my aunt's first. However the last either 2 or 3 years we've went to his grandma's first cause she gets an attitude if we aren't there right when she finishes cooking. It's like I don't have a family or something to go to also? I'm going to my aunts first this year because I'm supposed to cook a couple dishes for her dinner but I know his grandma is gonna be bitchy about it. My hubby would prefer to go to his grandma's first of course but since we've went there first the last couple years I'm definitely going to my aunts first and then to his grandma's house.

Answer

We cook at our home. My family is 3 hours away and his elders are crazy. So we cook at home and stay comfortable with our kids and pets. Sorry you have such anxiety around it

Answer

We alternate every year. If people are pissed, thats on them. I don't care. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer

Alternate or we will celebrate the holiday on separate days. Like thanksgiving with my family on a Thursday and his on a Friday.

Answer

We live in the same town as my husband's family so we go to his Uncle's house and see all of his mom's family. My FIL's family lives in another state and my family lives 4 hours away so that makes it easy. We usually visit my family sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas and we go to his parent's house Christmas morning.

Answer

Sounds like her being pissed and bitchy is allllll on her.  Try not to let it bother you

Answer

We’ve cooked at our home for the past 2 years and will do so again this year. Way more convenient.

Answer

We usually spend Thanksgiving with friends. We host Friendsgiving.
Neither of us like going to his parents, and my mom will just come to our Friendsgiving for dessert. 
Christmas is the fun one and the only holiday we spend with everyone. 
His parents celebrate on Christmas Eve, so it's made tradition easy. We go there Xmas Eve, then my family is the same it's been since I was a kid Christmas breakfast at my father's at 9:30am , then dinner at my mom's. But all of us head to my mom's from my dad's by noon with the rest of the family showing up around 2-3pm we're usually there for about 6 hours. 
Easter, mother's day, and father's day are all hosted by my brother and SIL they invite all of the in-law families it's a huge gathering but my in-laws never go. We usually stop by there house on our way home to drop off cards/gifts but never stay again we don't enjoy being around them.

Answer

Our families live 3 hours away from us but only about 20 minutes from each other. The family that is more organized and gets us a time first wins dibs on that time slot. The other can either work around that time or understand we will come when we are done at the other place.

Answer

My husband and I dont have to worry about going to his family or mine during holidays because his family is across the ocean. But we usually just have to decide if we are going to go see my family on the holidays or not. This year I had to work thanksgiving so we are doing our family thanksgiving on Sunday. And Christmas we are gonna try and make it up to my hometown to see my extended family. When growing we would also go to my moms parents house for lunch for thanksgiving and Christmas cause it wasn’t anything big and then we would have dinner at my dads parents house. Luckily my grandparents lived in the same city so of course it was easy to do that.

How do you decide?

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