Sorry quite long.

My marriage has been struggling for a while now. It seems like the small issues that went unresolved for years just ate away on our love. He says he loves me but doesn't show it. Well he does great and talk to me and ask how I am every day but that is pretty much it. I dont feel he is in love with me anymore and also I don't trust him anymore. I dont trust him much because I see how he says one thing to mean another with me sometimes and with other people. His reputation is key and I even feel that is why he tried to keep this marriage going. Not out of love for me. It all feels like routine and doing things out of duty. He aint romantic at all and I gave up even ever getting that. I do think am nolonger in live with him.

We have a 2 year old and when we conceived him, we were working things out or so it seemed and we were in love, but then found out he was just lying behind my back and from then it has really been hard for me to trust him again.

Now am ready to have another baby but how do I have a baby with him? He is my husband. Some days I think just do it afterall you already have 1 child with him and it would be nice to have kids from the same father or give my son a sibling. I used to wonder how women go ahead and have kids with men who are abusive or not good but now here I am debating bringing another child to a loveless marriage. Note I feel I need to do this for me. The child for my joy not because I feel the need to get attention from my husband. Actually a part of me feels like I only have sex with him because I want a child. Sex was the last thing to go out the door. I used to enjoy it but he made me feel unwanted and now I dont feel like I want it with him but I still enjoy the idea of sex.

He aint enthusiastic about us having another child like he was with the first. He does say he wants a child but what are his words worth? First month ttc he pulled out and then abstained. This time, he did try to sabotage it again but thankfully I got pregnant. I dont regret my baby and this pregnancy I know not to relay on him and am ready to do a lot alone. Just some days I sit and think about our marriage. Do we have any hope?

Ps. Even if this marriage failed, I dont think I will be dating ever again because my trust was trampled on so bad I don't think any adult man can be trusted. I know it is either being single or continue to pretend to be OK in this marriage as we each individually live our separate lives harmoniously parallel to eachother.

UPDATE:

Thanks ladies for commenting in such a way that has empowered me. Yes I know my situation but besides this current situation, I also know what I have always wanted in a family. I definitely want more than one child. And I know even if I were to be single, I would at least use sperm donor to get a child. And he aint abusive physically nor emotionally. He is a great dad and does provide for his son. But besides him, am an engineer, and a good financial planner and I know I will have enough to give the two kids what they need in case this all ends. I do think he would still care for the kids if we never made it but if he doesn't, I would still be OK. With that said, we do try to communicate and make things better, but sometimes life is just too complicated. I really feel more empowered to have another child and also stay in this marriage and not just give up yet. it aint damaging me, him, or the kids. Our son does love him so much. Thanks for the encouragement.