I let my bpd and emotions get the best of me and fucked things up completely with the person I love. I got freaked out and paranoid that they didn’t really like me and were leading me on so I freaked out and blocked them on everything but text. Then when they asked why I wasn’t the nicest. The next day when I was more clear headed I felt absolutely terrible about everything so apologized. They said they still love me but that things are different now and while I understand, I feel so sad and miserable. We still talk, but it obviously isn’t the same. I really wish I could take it back. I wish so badly I could reverse everything or that apologizing more would fix everything but it won’t. It’ll be annoying and they’ll like me less. Im having issues not checking to see when they’re active and I know they’re ignoring me because I can see it.

Obviously this is an issue that one one can help, I just don’t have anyone to talk to and this helps me get it out.

Im very sad and it’s all my fault :((