They have herpes.

We found out today that someone very close to us has herpes. We’re not sure how long they’ve had it or if it was contracted recently or even who it’s from as they have had many sexual partners with the past couple of years and have not always been responsible about their sexual encounters. The doctors have advised them not to share any food/drinks with anyone. This person is close enough that they hug us, kiss my children’s faces, and are pretty much in our every day lives. I am worried about my children having been kissed by this person at family gatherings and want to know how I can keep them safe, but not shut this person out. (my children are young so the kiss is a “oh you’re so cute” and a kiss on the cheek, or a goodbye peck). I do not want to make this person feel gross or feel embarrassed so I’m not sure how to address the fact that I’m not comfortable with them kissing my children now that we are aware of this. I’m under the impression that they also just found out today so I know the subject is touchy. I also would like to know if I need to go as far as cleaning the toilet if they use our bathroom/sanitizing if they’ve been there, having them use hand sanitizer before being near my kids, etc. If I asked them to use hand sanitizer, I would ask it of everyone so that this person didn’t feel singled out. I know I’m probably overthinking this but I just don’t know how to handle it. Please offer me any advice.

EDIT: It is confirmed genital herpes and probable oral herpes based on the doctors physical exam, though they are waiting on bloodwork. Again, I am NOT trying to shame this person or make them feel embarrassed. I am trying to become educated on the subject and figuring how I can/if I need to protect my family in any way. We still love this person deeply and feel absolutely horrible that they are having to go through this.

I know the basics of the disease from health class in high school but, as many people are not completely knowledgeable and fluent in many subjects, I don’t know all of the details of this either. I found conflicting information online whether it could live on surfaces which is why I asked about wiping down the toilet seat.