Do some men just want to hookup?

Question

I have a FWB and we’ve been this way for about a year. We have a good friendship also and hangout and watch movies and text all day every single day. Anyways, idk how the conversation came up but I said it’s not that hard to find a hookup because a lot of people don’t want commitment. I told him of course not all men are like that but a good chunk of men only want sex and of course some women too. He got mad and said I’m making it seem like men are useless and no man only wants sex. I told him “well you don’t want a commitment with me you only want sex so what’s the difference? I’m just saying alot of men prefer that arrangement.” And he lost it saying “we don’t have to have sex. I don’t want commitment with you I already told you that”. I wasn’t saying he wanted a commitment. We were just talking about it being easy to get hookups and now he’s freaking out on me. Was what I said wrong? He’s saying the only men that want hookups are famous people and I’m wrong for thinking any man wants to hookup because no man is like that.
Changed the heading to say SOME men because that’s what I meant sorry**

Answer

Some men do you just want sex, that’s what tinder is for hooking up, some people want friends with benefits, some people wanna relationship, everyone is different. But it definitely sounds like he struck a nerve with him, categorizing him as a player or whatever, he got defensive that’s what it was. Often times when people are backed into a corner, they lash out. Or get defensive you get the point.  Some guys like the girlfriend experience but without the commitment or responsibilities of a relationship, they like to keep their options open, and be able to keep the ball in their court, call the shots, control the situation, and if you catch feelings, he can always pull out anytime he wants. Or it also works for married men or men and relationships, most infidelities are usually somebody that they know, a coworker, a friend, etc. aside from the random hook up, It’s the escape from reality, the what can I get away with, the uncomplicated parts without the drama. Unfortunately they were more married man on dating apps and there are single men. Then you have to remember that most men aren’t sorry that they cheated, they’re sorry that they got caught over that you found out. They made a conscious decision. To jeopardize our relationship, etc. You don’t just slip and fall into a vagina. There are some men who just wanna hook up like I said, but there’s also men who like the friends with benefits situation because you have everything the relationship offers but without the drama, you owe them nothing, you can leave whenever you want to. It’s really the perfect situation for a man, the one who cares less, holds the control. Same thing goes for relationships and a lot of times men come on strong, they get you emotionally attached, then they flip the script and do the minimal and then you end up doing the maximum to try and keep things going and keep them happy. It’s a power dynamic a lot of times.￼

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Answer

It seems like you're judging all men for the behavior of some. There men who wants to be in a committed relationship and there's men who just wants sex if a guy just wants sex it doesn't necessarily mean he can't commit it means he wants sex

Answer

Sounds like you just struck a nerve for him. Either he actually does want commitment or he realized what you said is exactly true, either way he doesn't want to admit whichever it is so he got defensive and blew up. Not your fault.

Answer

He probably felt like it was a personal attack since he does fit in that category of men.

Do some men just want to hookup?

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