Separated/ fucking friend

Ok so long story short , me and my husband have been together 12 years ,7 of those married, I found out he had a dating app where he was putting himself single , he claims it was curiosity since he heard some ppl at work talking about it and didn’t have it for long , that he even put a different city , we separated right away , I started going out and one of his friends reached out , I told him everything, and we ended up fucking, we have been fucking for 4 months , they haven’t spoken in like 6 years , i kinda got feelings for the guy , I’ve also known him for 12 years , everything is so fucked up, everyone around me telling me I should do counseling with my husband , ok I missed this part , I was going thru ivf when I found out my husband had the app, we had just had a transfer fail and we have two frozen babies , I was so devastated, during that time , I was over the moon and was 100 percent for forming a family , now everything is crushed , I really don’t want to fix things and I don’t want to keep fucking the other guy , I think it’s mainly lust and the connection we have , but I would never trust him after this , I’m at my lowest , if I was at my lowest when I found out , I think I’m worse now , I just can’t comprehend why I’m here, if 6 months ago , I was at my happiest 😭