How to cope with being cheated on?

Question

Let’s be real the ideal answer is to leave. But realistically not everyone is ready to. A family, children, promises and changes that it won’t happen again. So staying in a relationship and working through it. How do you cope? Get over it? Stop comparing yourself to the other woman? 
Positive response only please.

Answer

I feel like being cheated on leaves the person wronged to go through different stages…
Jealousy and distrust
Anger
Sadness
Insecurities
Grief for the loss of the relationship before infidelity 
The thing is, if you can’t truly ever trust that person again, and get to that point, you’ll never feel okay again in that relationship. So it’s a combination of you finding ways to deal with all your feelings in a healthy manner but it also heavily relies on the cheater doing what it takes to earn back your trust. They have to be willing to be 100% transparent and open about everything and you have to build that trust back by seeing that they’re doing right by you and believing in them to do so. You have to fight the urge not to throw it in their face all the time how much of a piece of shit they are, how they destroyed your self esteem, how they ruined your relationship, and trust me, you’re gonna wanna throw that shit in their face all the time. But you can’t. You have to be able to hold it back and they have to be transparent. 
Personally I tried, and it didn’t work for me. I couldn’t trust him again. He deleted all social media since that was what he was using to meet women and cheat, he turned his location on so I could know where he was and know he wasn’t lying like he had been in the past, he tried very hard to prove his loyalty but it was too late. That shit made me crazy. Made me miserable. Made me hate him and hate myself even more for not walking away after he shit on what we had for a quick fuck. I despised him. And I never got over it. Because loyalty is the most important quality in a monogamous relationship to me and he broke the one thing I valued most. If I wasn’t dedicated 100% or if I even had the urge to look elsewhere, I would end it before I’d cheat. And I expect the same from a partner. I’d rather be dumped than cheated on.

Answer

Don’t put your kids through the issues that will come up. Move on and put yourself and kids in a better situation.

Answer

Not only is not everyone ready to leave, i dont think leaving is the ideal answer 100 percent of the time. 
Its complex. Cheating. Relationships. Love. People. So so complex. 
The biggest thing in coping personally is to make sure you know that it wasnt about you.ibwas a

Answer

Ester Perel is a great psychologist who talks a lot about recovering from an infidelity. A lot of it can involve understanding your partner better, and also working through insecurities and learning to rebuild trust in your relationship. 
It is difficult, but if both parties are dedicated to working on things, there is no reason an infidelity has to end things. The end is just an easy way out. The harder road is sometimes actually more rewarding. But, certainly, a lot of people find that road too difficult & I don't blame them.

Answer

My late husband never cheated on me with another woman(that I know Of).  But he did cheat on me often with his addiction to the bottle(alcohol).  There was many many times I wanted to leave him. However I always replayed my wedding vows in my head, and said for better, for worse, in sickness and in health. Until death parts us.  So to me those wedding vows speak loud and strong that I knew I made the promise to him and in front of family/friends and God that I will stand by his side.      
So I guess in away, I felt that even tho he choose the bottle a lot I knew we had to work things out as a couple.  
He was kicked in a car accident 7 years ago.

Answer

I don't think leaving is the only option. Still don't know why people think leaving is the only thing relationships are different, everybody deserve a second chance. As for the coping... It will take time to do it. It will take time to stop comparing or overthinking. Just take one step of a time, don't rush. Try to don't search for an answer or think " why". Let it go, think that it just happened, you got to a rough place in your relationship. Be careful tho, the majority of cases it's going to happen again. Not all cases, but 5he majority. Keep your eyes open, but don't exagerate

Answer

I feel like slowly dating again usually works and space… force the real life date , dress up when you’re ready and give yourselves activities first so you don’t really have to talk … paint with twist, rock climb, museum of science exhibit … escape room etc..

How to cope with being cheated on?

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