6 weeks post pardum and boyfriend and I won’t stop fighting

I have a 6 week old and up until about 2 weeks ago I thought I was adjusting okay. My boyfriend and I would argue occasionally, especially in the mornings because I would get so irritated from not sleeping.

I do all the night feedings and most during the day. He will help when asked. On most mornings he would let me wake him up at 730 am and I would get 2, sometimes if I’m lucky 3 hours of sleep while he watches the baby.

Past 2 weeks, and especially the past week specifically have been so bad. My baby won’t sleep during the day or at night. Yesterday she woke up from a short nap at 11 am and didn’t go back down until 7 pm and I tried everything. Needless to say my nerves are shot and I can’t take much more.

My boyfriends father is in town staying with us for a week, something he wanted to plan on scheduling his dad coming to stay a few days before she was born for a month. I put my foot down and said no way, I am a new mom and need time to adjust. Then the plan was for him to come when she was 2 weeks old, he swears it’s for his dad to help with other kids that he has on the weekends. Anyway, somehow his dad decided on now, and I want to be hospitable but it’s a lot of pressure to have my house clean and make sure his dad is taken care of. Not to mention we have a dog that doesn’t do well with strangers, so more stress on keeping him downstairs away from him because he is big and loud.

Okay, getting to my point here… I have to ask my boyfriend a million times to do anything and I have been asking him for the kids schedule for Christmas for over a month. On Friday while his dad was in the other room I asked him to call the courts while they are open and get a copy of the parenting plan because the children’s mother will screw him if he’s not on top of things. He got all pissed at me because he was tired and needed to leave to get the kids. And basically told me that I don’t let him drive (he drives for doordash) or “go do anything he wants” and keep in mind next weekend he is going to San Francisco for a concert with his friend for 4 days.

So me then I have been so pissed, I have refused to leave downstairs while his kids and dad are here. How dare he?! I cook, clean up after him and his children all while getting no sleep and taking care of our daughter 22 hours a day.

He is a good father to all his children and will do things when I ask for our baby but am I wrong for wanting him to offer? Offer to take a night because he sees me struggling, getting no sleep with a colicky baby? He says he’s not a mind reader but I feel like thats part of anticipating your partners needs. Am i wrong here?

We are so deep into this fight right now we are talking splitting up. I’ve had it.