I’m at my wits end

My kids don’t listen to me. Every time I say anything I’m tuned out and it’s totally my husbands fault because anytime I say something to him I’m scoffed at and dismissed! In front of the kids! So now my 6 year old is doing it and just takes what I say with a grain of salt. And now my 2 year old is picking that up and doing the same. I’m furious. I lost it today and screeeeaaammmeedddd at everyone. And my husband came out of his office fuming, shaking his fists and breathing weird. Like what? Dude calm tf down. This is weird. And you are the root of this anyway so work on it…?

I feel bad that I lost it. But I mean how can I not when (not exaggerating) EVERY single word that comes out of my mouth is ignored all day long every day. To the point where I will have conversations with the kids and think I taught them something and everything goes in one ear out the other, and then their grandma will have a similar convo with them and they’ll say “grandma taught me ______.” And it’s hurtful! Because I want to teach my kids my values, I want them to know they get it from me. But they don’t because they seem incapable of processing anything I’m saying. It’s surreal and it’s maddening.

I’m so stressed too because how am I supposed to parent if I’m not taken seriously? Like even if they did take me seriously would I even know because they can’t hear anything I’m saying to them?? I’m talking to brick walls all the time.

When I said what I say is “dumbass bullshit” he knew I was talking as though he views it that way. He knows I don’t think what I’m saying is stupid.