Relationship issues

I’ve been with my BD for 2 years and he cheated on me with 20 different women the first year of it. I chose to stay (Ik Ik) and now he’s just perfect. But now I don’t like him. I don’t want to have sex, I don’t find him attractive any more, I still have anger towards him. He plays basketball over seas he just got back from Mexico now fixing to go to Europe, I feel alone. Since we’ve been together he’s the one that’s been going out every weeken while I stay at home with our son, I’ve prob only been out three times in the past 2 years. I don’t want him but I do. I don’t know what to do.