Advise?

Question

My partner and I have been together for 4 years now, i met him when I was 23 and he was 27. He doesn’t go out much these days maybe once a month to Party with the boys out of town. I hear from him the all day up until he goes out and then all communication stops until he wakes up and calls me. 
I don’t hear from him atall after that unless I message him. Is that normal?  So that’s anytime between 10pm until 11am.
I’m not expecting a phone call or text every hour but “hope your ok” or “just got back to the hotel”isn’t hard considering he won’t be home that night. 
I addressed my concerns when he got back and he flipped and said why does he need to message me when he’s partying considering he made sure I was okay up until that point. I mentioned the fact that he wouldn’t like it if I did the same thing and all I get it men and women are not the same and I need to change.

Advise please no hate.Do I need to change my ways.

Answer

Respect shouldn’t be asked for.

Answer

I don't think you are overreacting,he knows it bothers you but still keeps doing.It's all about respect and anyone can make 2minute to just sag they are okay.If he wanted,he would do it.Have a conversation with him and if he doesn't want to change then it's a problem

Answer

So instead of saying we'll you'd do the same if I didn't text you, say I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. 
I think when you throw things back and forth it kind of messes with the real issue. Just tell him why you care. 
You aren't wrong. I'd want to know my husband was safe after being out partying and drinking. Anything can happen in life. 
Maybe just approach it differently

Answer

Youre completely okay and you're not wrong for being concerned about him not texting you when he's out. My husband usually texts me at least once an hour when he's out for a long time just to let me know that he's okay. Your boyfriend is acting very strange and he's very wrong for snapping at you for wanting to make sure he's okay. He's acting sketchy and something isn't right. He attitude is that of a bratty child. It sounds like he just doesn't want to think of you when he's out.

Answer

I mean I don't you're thinking asking for too much 🤷‍♀️ anytime my husband went out which honestly isn't much without me. But when he worked out of town in the oilfield some guys would hang out down at the bar in the hotel and he would constantly text me. It might be slow, but he still communicates. He still calls or texts me when he finally made it up to his room for the night.  If he's throwing a fit over a simple call or text, it's because he's willingly choosing not to. Trust me, if he wanted to he'd still make it a point to talk to you. Or to let you know he's safe.

Answer

Well I totally understand you being worried about him and what not but  if this is how he feels and his feelings are valid just like you are as are as well. I personally agree with him it seems like you don't trust him if this is the same way that because every single time that he goes out then I understand where he's coming from. Maybe you should actually try to trust him I get that you say that it's because you're concerned about his well-being and want to make sure he's safe and what not and ideally it would be really nice if he could relay that back to you. The way that you're handling it now though is making him feel smothered on top of that it seems to be of different levels of importance to both of you. You need to learn to back off and he needs to learn that it's okay to send one text message to let you know that he's okay

Answer

I expect my husband to at least communicate to me when he’s back to the house or hotel if he doesn’t come home. That’s called respect.

Advise?

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