Pregnancy #5 - babies #0

I’m freaking out this morning. I know for most woman those two pink lines mean absolutely everything. I’ve been there…the two minute wait, the excitement. But now…those pink lines only bring me dread and anxiety. My husband and I have been in the infertility journey for the better part of 2 years and with each confirmed pregnancy we were met with heartache. So I don’t see how this could be different. I have been prematurely been diagnosed with APS (anti phospholipid syndrome) which causes my body to attack healthy tissue, airgo 4 pregnancies that failed me. I’m still working with my doctor to finalize the diagnosis but here we are and I’m scared. It was a total accident. We’ve been careful. But one late night concert with friends and family, alcohol, and a broken condom…here we are again.

Does anyone else here have APS that has resulted in a successful pregnancy? I’m on baby aspirin (low dose) but there’s nothing more they say that can do. I’m really just looking for some hope here.