I didn’t ask for this

I can’t sleep so I rather just type what I’m feeling…

Back in June of 2021 I had just got back from Miami and I went to visit my parents in NY for summer break. Only being there for 2 days I went out with a couple of my cousins to a outdoor hookah spot. They cousins invited 2 of their guys friends that they have a romantic history with. After a couple Sangrias (mixed with tequila, never do this please) I went to the restroom, finished my drink and we going to the next spot. However my cousin (let’s call her Mya ) got too drunk and was throwing up so the guys wanted to take us home. After getting in the car I literally don’t remember anything else. I woke up the next morning at Mya’s house, I rushed home so I can get ready for work. As I was getting ready to shower I noticed my underwear was on wrong ( both legs were in one hole ). Also there were scratches/scrapes on my thighs. I just knew although i was drunk I wouldn’t completely take off my skinny jeans( which were tight asf, literally threw them out right after) just to use the restroom. It made no sense. The fact I couldn’t remember anything was driving me insane. I immediately called my cousin Mya & told her. Her sister who was also with us that night (let’s call her Miley) told me I walked into a dirt bike & it fell on me ( which made the scratches and bruising). But what about my underwear? So when I told them via FaceTime, Miley mentioned Mya was throwing up in front of the apartment and she couldn’t go inside yet. Apparently I had to use the restroom so Miley walked me in the building which I walked infront of the dirt bike that fell on me. I went into the apartment and sat on the couch ( I’m guessing because I don’t remember) and Mya’s boo came tot he door and asked if he can use the restroom. So now it’s only me & him while everyone else is still at the car.

Because I don’t remember I’ll stop there but wait there’s more! So when I called Mya & Miley once I got home we started to piece the puzzle together that he must’ve done something to me but I didn’t want accuse anyone but come on, my underwear being on wrong? Huge red flag! Mya gave me his number & i immediately called him to see if he’ll tell me. He was very vague over the phone but agreed to come over later (with my cousins being there with me ofc) so we can figure this shit out. Fast forward, he admits to touching me but claims I wanted it and “kept making gestures all night”. I DONT THINK I MENTIONED THIS BEFORE BUT I NEVER MET THESE GUY FRIENDS BEFORE. So for him to say this, I wasnt even attracted him nor looked at him.

I didn’t mean to make this long but is this considered sexual assault? I try to bury it in my head but it’s been 6 months and it’s still haunting me. Help