Relaxing during sex?

TW: sexual trauma

Let me just tell y’all, I am getting sick of not being able to orgasm! I am 18 years old, and have been touching myself for 7 or 8 years now. I’ve been with many men, and have not once had an orgasm in my life! It’s so hard for me to concentrate on what I’m feeling. I was r@ped at 15 years old, then again more recently. My current partner is aware of this, but I can tell it hurts him that I haven’t came. I also can tell he struggles to believe I’ve never had an orgasm considering how many people I’ve been with. I suffer from a plethora of mental illnesses including anxiety and ADHD. When we’re having sex, yes it feels amazing and I get wet wet wet like a freaking waterfall, I always have, but I just never reach the big O. My man puts SO MUCH time and effort in to trying to make it happen for me, and no one I’ve been with has ever fucked/ate me as well as he does. Still, when it’s happening I can’t focus on what I’m feeling. When he goes down on me my own moans distract me from what I’m feeling. I get so so so close and then think about how close I am and POOF it’s gone. I can tell it hurts him and makes him feel I adequate, and I fear I’ll never experience an orgasm. Any tips? I’m desperate😔