I know this probably sounds stupid but honestly it upsets me. I’ve talked to him before but he doesn’t seem to get why it upsets me.

So my husband goes to work early in the morning and I go to work late in the afternoon. I get home, we cook dinner, eat, clean up, get the kids in bed and he goes to bed. We don’t have a ton of time together so when I go to work every afternoon I give him a call just to say hey, love you. We talk briefly about anything we need to and I fill him in on anything going on at home and anything that needs done when he gets home. It’s Just quick, my commute is only like 10 minutes and we don’t talk the whole time. I enjoy calling and talking to him and he’s told me numerous times it’s okay to call him while he’s at work. I rarely call more than once during the day and I usually catch him while he’s on lunch anyways.

So what I’ve told my husband repeatedly is that he doesn’t have to answer every time I call. I know he’s at work, if he’s busy, if he’s having a conversation with a coworker or just can’t talk right then it’s okay if he doesn’t answer. Like I get he’s busy. Well the last few times I’ve called he’s like not present for the conversations. If that makes any sense? He’s like listening but not listening. He gives all the cues that he’s listening mmhmms and okay and whatever else. Like I can tell him something completely off the wall and he’s like oh cool and I’m like you’re not even listening to me which makes me feel like why did you even answer? Or the other thing he does is like talks as if someone is standing next to him and he’s not comfortable talking?

Anyways I’ve told him I’d rather he just didn’t answer. I’d rather just think he was busy than feel like he doesn’t care to talk to me. I usually just say okay have a good afternoon love you bye and hang up and then he flips out that I hung up and I’m like well you’re not even talking to me so what’s the big deal. And then he’s like no no I love talking to you. ….. doesn’t feel like it?

I’ve tried just not calling period and then he gets all butthurt that I don’t call him and he calls me multiple times when he’s off work to “check on me” because he thinks I’m mad at him because I didn’t call. Ugh. There just doesn’t seem to be any winning with this. Am I crazy??