please don’t be too mean to me bc I’m trying to learn how to change. I’m posting this in hopes that I can get some advice on how to be better bc my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this treatment and I don’t want to lose him over insecurities that he didn’t cause.

In 2019 I entered a relationship w a man who completely broke me. He cheated consistently, lied to me, manipulated me, emotionally and sexually abused me, the list goes on. He was a monster.

Now w my current boyfriend I find myself getting extremely upset at things he says, or when he goes out w his friends (guys or girls), or when he goes to the bar I become afraid he might cheat. This guy has done nothing but be good to me since our very first date. He has never given me a reason not to trust me, we’ve never had any sort of drama in our relationship. We’ve been good and solid. I just don’t want to keep getting upset when he wants to go out bc it’s not his fault I feel this way. And even if I don’t say anything I can’t help but feel sad and he senses my behavior and thinks I’m mad at him or that I don’t want him to do something. Yeah it does upset me when he goes the the bar or goes out w friends and doesn’t ask me to go but I still want him to do those things, I still want him to have fun. I don’t understand why I feel one way and then act another way. I don’t understand why I get such high anxiety thinking he’s going to cheat when he’s been nothing but good and honest to me. I’m taking the problems my ex put on me and letting them interfere w the relationship I have w my current boyfriend and I hate it. I don’t want to be toxic to him. I don’t want to get upset or angry whenever he goes out. I don’t want him to lose friends over me. I don’t know why I think and feel completely different things about the situation and I don’t know how to express to him that it’s okay for him to do these things and that i’m not actually upset w him.