When to tell family we’re pregnant after loss?

Question

May 2021 I gave birth to my son. Sadly, he was stillborn. He had a lot of health issues (think like trisomy 18) but, we still don’t know the cause. The very experienced doctor who preformed his autopsy said he’s never seen another baby like ours.
Exactly 7 months after he was born, I ovulated & am now pregnant. We weren’t trying to get pregnant. We tabled even talking about when we would want to try again until at least the first of the year. (A month into our now 2nd pregnancy) I ovulated about a week earlier that I normally have the months prior. 
Anyway. My sister, cousin, and VERY close friends know. But, I’m nervous to tell my family. (One they can’t keep a secret at all & two if this pregnancy has the same diagnosis, I don’t think I could handle giving birth to another dead baby - I don’t want to be judged if I have to make that choice)
The doctor has specifically said he doesn’t know what happened to give our son the fetal diagnosis, so it is very possible we could have another child like him. 
When would y’all tell them? I’m being extra careful (not going around anyone remotely sick - normally I wouldn’t care) I’m just so scared. I don’t know what to do or how to handle this.

Answer

There’s no right or wrong answer here honestly. For me personally I’m more of a private person and wouldn’t tell family until after testing like nipt, or a good anatomy scan at 20 weeks so that if you do have to make a choice you don’t feel pressured or guilty due to due to others. It’s already hard enough, you don’t need judgement too. I also don’t think I could handle answering the 20 questions or anything that came with them knowing. 
With that being said, holding your feelings in around most of your family is also probably not the healthiest approach soo it may be worth while to tell them and have their support no matter the outcome. 
Truthfully only you know your family and can decide the best choice here.

Answer

For our second son's pregnancy (after his brother was stillborn) my husband left the decision to me. I decided to tell all our family and close friends after the first ultrasound at 8 weeks. We had waited until 11 weeks for his brother, but I felt like I needed others to send baby love and prayers as soon as we saw the heartbeat. I did not share on social media for the longest time because it was a trigger for my grief.
So many moms handle this differently and it's all okay. Whatever makes you feel safe is the right thing to do. 
Praying for you sweet mama. Please check out hopemommies.org and Hope Mommies on Facebook for Christian support from other loss moms. There's even a group specific for pregnancy after loss.

Answer

I think like another commenter said that it’s totally dependent on what you are comfortable with. I’ve personally been pregnant three times and have two precious children here on earth with me. I chose to tell our immediate families and close friends at 8 weeks with every one of my pregnancies. When I went on to miscarry my second pregnancy it was helpful to me to have the love and support of our families during such a heartbreaking time. When I got pregnant with our rainbow baby I relied on their love and support again to get through pregnancy after loss. I wish you all the best on whatever you decide ❤️

When to tell family we’re pregnant after loss?

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