Need advice long story !

I’m at a lost back story 3 kids 10 year relationship we’ve had bumps and bruises but we’ve gotten through but idk since I’ve had my son who will be a year old we can’t or I can’t seem to find my way back … my son was born 2 months early I had an emergency c-section he spent about a month in the nicu … dad never once came we have kids at home so it was his excuse why he never showed his face which is w.e I could have stayed and he went I always wanted someone there for his cares I never missed a day… fast forward he’s home he still wants nothing to do with him says he’s to small anytime I asked for him toe give him a bath take him while I showered etc baby came with me … my son isn’t the perfect baby but he’s our baby he struggled with eating because of reflux so he had to be upward he grunted a lot w.e it didn’t bother me just did my best to make him comfortable well the best route to help him was actually breastfeeding so I just quit bottles and started breastfeeding I did bottles so dad could help but he didn’t … fast forward I’m a sahm since he was born he refuses all bottles being that he’s almost one I have transitioned to sippy and he’s doing great now only breastfeeding for 2 naps and bedtime *sidenote- he’s doesn’t sleep through the night never has … which dad thinks he should since all his kids has … things dad does with his days mon-Thurs he works from home usually till 10 ish then goes to cdl classes for about 3 hours a day … I never skip a beat because of OCD dishes laundry home clean always it’s an issue I have always will so I don’t really have him help because I like towels folded a certain way kids drawers w.e … and Im home with our son I have drop off for my daughter at 7 and drop off for my other daughter at 8 I get up early get them ready take them all with me hit the gym do drops off then shortly after 8 do breakfast with baby … then get everything I gotta get done … I make dinner almost every night unless I order in I do groceries I do pick ups I do ballet every kid is usually with me … in his free time he plays video games for hours on end or reads comics shuts the door if we’re to “loud” or blasts teen titans (some show) or naruto or dragon ballz and normally this stuff never bothered me it’s what he’s interested he works hard and takes care of his family but when does it end ?? I’m constantly go go go always he don’t do baths go grocery shopping play with the kids help me with anything I’m kids 24/7 and he wants me to go back to work this summer and that’s fine I can’t wait but I’ve explained to him (cause he wants to travel for work to bring in more money) I can’t juggle two different school times and be able to work full time … but needs to be to figured it out he isn’t helping me with anything he gets to come and go as he pleases and in order for me to even go to the gym alone I have to ASK and more times he says NO why they all 3 come with so they can help me with the baby … he trash talks our son he’s a brat , a hold me baby, says I can’t handle this kid and I’ve had discussions with him but I shouldn’t have to I feel like I have a whole another kid he never picks up after himself food on his desk cups laundry on the floor leaves cupboards open and I may be nitpicking but fuck I’m exhausted I’ve tried to tell him to help me to bathe our son watch him so I can relax in the shower on weekends I have to literally just get ready and say I’m leaving so he don’t fight me to watch him so I can go to the gym … even on weekends he don’t leave that bedroom or bed it goes from phone for hours to video game for the other half I’ve told him I’m unhappy that I don’t want to be in a relationship like this but nothing changes it just get worse even chores for the house are done by my oldest who is 11 because he’s doesn’t do anything daughter does garbage for me and puts dishes away and she does her own laundry my middle waters the plants and cleans up mainly after herself or helps with baby clean up … I’m just lost I don’t want to end it but he refuses to do therapy he don’t want to spend money he thinks we will figure it out but I’m not doing anything besides not working he thinks I need to work on my “libido” granted we do twice a week maybe more but I’m exhausted and I’ve said by the time lay down after doing nothing but kids jumping all over me initiating sex is the last thing in my mind … but I have to initiate it cuz he don’t think he should be anymore… and I use to but he’s not the same man I feel like he’s another kid it’s so unattractive to me and I’ve explained to him to stop with the constant sex talk it’s not sexy to me he’s always sending me texts let’s have sex or when he comes home I’ll be in the middle of dinner or cleaning up all kids wide awake tell me to send them all in there room and have sex and if I don’t I need to get a better sex drive … I had to tell him we’re not kids we have kids we can’t just have sex 24/7 whenever the mood strikes you even if it’s close to bed and I’m like alright let’s go get the kids to bed for me I’ll shower but no his response is always no you do it I’ll wait and then I don’t want it anymore idk I’m sooo tired