Feeling sick to my stomach

It’s been 6 weeks since my baby girl was born and passed a day after being in the NICU at 26wks. My postpartum appointment is tomorrow and I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it… I feel like I’ll just be reminded by the happy times my fiancé and I had going in there and seeing our baby during ultrasounds and hearing her heartbeat… Now I’m going in there feeling empty and broken hearted. 💔

I also have tons of resentment towards this doctor because he tried to send me home when I went to the hospital when she stopped moving because he “heard her heartbeat”. I had to beg him for an ultrasound and then he FINALLY realized something was wrong and had to get me on a flight for life. Unfortunately, he’s the only person I can see since it’s a small town. Ugh I hate this so much.. 💔😞