So, I have alot to unwind and could really use advice please!

I've been with my husband for 18 yrs and we have 3 kids. A 13 yr old, 2 yr old and a 5 month old. My husband is in the military and has been our whole relationship. For 18 yrs we moved from State to State and Countries (currently in Japan). I was ok with this and knew what I was getting myself into with all the moves. While away my younger brother passed away and I couldn't be their for my parents like I should've, my dad had a stroke and I couldn't help, my Mom got hit by a car while riding her bike, my sister had double eye transplants as she was losing her eyesite and just the list goes on. It breaks my heart every time something happens and I can't be their!

Now, the time has come and my husband will be medically retiring within the next yr. I was so thrilled to hear this knowing we would be going back home buuuuut the housing market is horrible in my home state of AZ! Our budget is $500k but my husband keeps saying that's a tiny house in a bad neighborhood and bad school district. He's looked into Texas and that's a huge house, cost of living is lower than AZ and TX has better education. He also said that the job he's going for will offer him 60k more a yr than AZ. Now he's going back on moving us home to AZ because TX has better housing market and he will get paid more.

For 18 yrs my life has revolved around him and I've sacrificed all my time away from my family. I've missed weddings, funerals, births and holidays. My family barely knows my kids and half of them haven't even met my youngest 2. Everytime we go home it's so heartwarming and welcoming but I also feel like an outcast.All I've ever wanted was my kids to go trick or treating with their cousins, go to Nana and Papas for the weekend or just have a random BBQ and invite everyone over.

My husband is calling me selfish and doesn't even try to listen to why I'm upset. He said our kids education and where they grow up is more important than me being close to my family. I told him I don't need a big fancy house and if AZ has terrible education then we help our kids through and get tutors and pay for extra classes! I'll go back to work and do whatever I can just to be by my parents! For 18 yrs I've been away and now he expects me to do it the rest of my life!!!!! What do I do! I'm so upset