My Due Date

Tomorrow 1-19-2022 would have been my due date with my first born.

My first little pink line.

My first little baby.

Mommy has been emotional thinking of this. Thinking of how you would have been when brought into this world. Thinking of when I would have held you and cuddled you and loved you fully in my arms, safe and sound. Hoping you looked perfectly like me and your daddy with his eyes and my hair and a full set of dimples.

I never got the chance to even see you on the monitor. 6 weeks is still being pregnant and it still made me a mom because I felt you and knew I wasn’t alone. I knew you were there. The accident wasn’t my fault but I sure felt like if I went the other direction I would have still kept you. I’d be delivering you this month.

I have been blessed with your baby sister and now I’m at 30 weeks. But my god how I want you too. It’s not fair in the slightest that you were not given the chance she has been given and will be given. But they say some babies are just meant to be angels. And you knew I was hurting and needed our sweet Maddie girl. And I thank you for sending me to her. I thank you and your papa for giving me a chance at showing how I can still be a mother. How we can still be parents.

She will know of you. And how you impacted our lives. How because of you, my sweet love, we have her.

Happy birthday and welcome home, our baby, where it is pure and bright like you 🕊💔💙💗

*not my picture*