About 4-5 days ago, I felt pain in my vagina. I’ve had pain in the same area due to having sex without being wet enough. I thought I had a small tear and a UTI on top of it. I noticed it got worse and took pictures so I could see for myself, and I noticed ulcers. I went to the doctor yesterday and she said it looks like my first outbreak and looks like herpes. She did tests but I’m waiting to here back, but I know it is in fact herpes.

I’ve never had any symptoms of herpes, orally or on my genitals. This is all such a surprise to me. I’ve been in a newer relationship for about 4 months and he went with me to the doctor and is very supportive. I told him what I believed it be and he said he would be by my side no matter what. I’m very thankful for that.

Ever since I took the photos and came to the realization that I believed it to be herpes, my depression has gotten really bad. I haven’t eaten, and all I’ve been doing is laying in bed.

I feel so ashamed. I feel embarrassed and gross. This is un-curable. I feel so low. I know this will get better and the first outbreak is normally the worst, but mentally I’m really struggling. I’ve always wanted to have kids and I know I can still, but I’m worried how it will effect my future, my sex life, and when I decide to have kids.

I’m scared it’s going to take me a long time to recover mentally. I never thought this would happen to me and I feel angry and I’m so upset with myself.

I’m just ranting on here because I haven’t told anyone except my boyfriend and I need someone to talk to and to give feedback.

Thanks