Is this part of the healing process?

Question

Please give good advice❤️
I left my abusive ex 1 year ago. Everyone says you’ll do much better without someone who verbally degrades you but I honestly feel worse without him. Tell me why the hell I miss him despite all the mental damage he caused me.
A lot of guys have asked for my number and asked me on dates but I find myself curving them real quick. I don’t find anyone attractive at all and to be honest I feel gross just thinking about me sleeping with another man. I know this sounds ridiculous but I don’t see myself naked in front of another man or find myself sexually attracted to any other guy. 
My ex was my first and so was I. I know it’s impossible to find myself a virgin guy and idk why the thought of being with someone who is not a virgin scares me/ grossed me out. Don’t know if I have trusting issues or what the hell is up with me!! I guess I’m still in this fantasy world where I thought I’d marry my high school sweetheart and he’d be the only man I’d have sex with.

Answer

Yeah I completely understand and it's actually very normal. Abusive relationships often cause an addiction to that person.

Answer

It’s a trauma bond. 
My mom was married to my dad for 38 years. Met at 16. Started dating 18. Engaged 19. Married and a kid at 21. He is all she has ever known.
He was verbally and emotionally abusive. A cheater. A textbook narcissist. 
She finally left him at 60. Found 11 years of infidelity. 
She’s free. No more walking on eggshells. No more waiting on him hand and foot. 
But she misses him. Still loves who she wishes he was. It’s a trauma bond. She knows she shouldn’t. But her mind is wrapped around the thought of him. 
She will never go back though and I hope you don’t either. Stay strong ❤️

Answer

What you are feeling is normal, but stay strong. I missed my ex despite the fact that he was a 100% verified narcissist. 
It took me a couple of years to get through it. In hindsight, I’m soooo glad I left. I don’t ever regret my decision. I’m now engaged and have been with my loving, hardworking, supportive fiancé. 
You will find someone worthy of you. You’ll find someone that you feel that way about again. It just takes time to emotionally recover.

Answer

Its normal to miss someone you loved, even though it wasn’t healthy for you to be with him. But hang in there because it does get better. For me it took two full years to start feeling like I could actually move forward with my life. Everyone heals at their own pace and it’s OK if it’s not going quickly for you. But you’ll get through it. Therapy could benefit you quite a bit. The unhealthy negative thinking pattern you’ve described (jealousy over not being with a virgin), a therapist could definitely help you with overcoming those thoughts and feelings.

Answer

Yes i was like this too

Answer

This is very common for women coming out of abusive relationships, and a very common reason they tend to go back.  DON’T GO BACK! You left for a reason, and even when all the good memories are swarming you and tempting you, remember why you left. 
One thing I will HIGHLY suggest for you is therapy. Even therapy online via BetterHelp (or other similar places) would be incredibly beneficial in helping you cope with your trauma. Please, please reach out to someone 💜💜

Answer

I think its normal but u need a new way of thinking to help u get out of that mond frame. Use youtube. Maybe watch Asha c or chloe_ or someone who discusses toxic relationships, self worth, self respect, how to choose a partner etc.

Is this part of the healing process?

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