I’ve learned as of recently that my boyfriend of three years still communicates with his ex.

I was sitting beside him at a cafe when I saw his phone screen light up with his ex’s name. She was replying back to him on Instagram. I said “why are you still talking to her?” And he quickly grabbed his phone and said “relax. She was just replying to my story.” We’re on vacation so I didn’t want to cause a fight while we’re here. He promised me he stopped talking to her 2 years ago.

Then yesterday we were getting smoothies and I saw him typing fast on WhatsApp and I saw her image icon on who he’s messaging. I just sat there feeling pathetic. I said “who are you messaging? You’re typing so quick.” And he quickly put his phone away and said “texting Richard!” And I knew that was a lie.

I just don’t understand the constant lies about his communication with her. I don’t understand why he still communicates with her…. I’ve voiced my feelings about it right away in the beginning when I felt his communication with her didn’t seem appropriate. He always deflect and say “we’re friends!” And get angry at me for feeling uncomfortable about it. I say “I just wish you could respect and understand my perspective.” She’s in a relationship with someone but I just don’t understand why he still talks to her and asks for advice on his music etc. I honestly feel he prefers her more then me sometimes.