TW - LOSS

I'm chalking up my current feelings to a trauma response honestly. With our first pregnancy in 2018 I wasn't like this.

We conceive through <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>, currently due to having no tubes, in the past due to tubal scarring. Our son was our first transfer in 2018 and he stuck, I didn't know about googling HCG numbers or doubling rates or anything like that. I just went for my blood work and got the call for my next appointment and went about my day happy as a clam.

Since then we have had 1 ectopic, 3 failed cycles, discovered and removed 2 hydrosalpinxes, another retrieval, 3 early miscarriages, another retrieval, no embryos to transfer, another retrieval, and now post fresh transfer of 2 embryos.

We had early betas

6dp5dt - 48

8dp5dt - 140

14dp5dt - 1836

I still can't shake feeling like something is going to go badly even though my doctor is happy with the numbers and they're doubling better than they have with any of our transfers after having our son. Our first scan is scheduled for 2/10, we will be 5w6d then. I just dont feel like this is real I guess?