Can’t cum from sex?

Question

Whenever masturbating I cum, no matter the method or what I’m watching/reading but I can’t seem to cum from sex AT ALL. Any tips or reasons why?

Answer

I used to really struggle with this. Ive learned penetration orgasms and clitoral orgasms are different, atleast for me. (Sometimes you’ll even have both at the same time 🤯 that’s a whole different experience) If you are comfortable with your partner enough, guide him like well what you do to yourself or try to explain it and tell him what feels best and makes you 💧. Most guys would rather know because they want to do that and like knowing they have and are able to, especially in a relationship. It also depends on your partner. I’ve had a few partners but only 2 have ever made me 💧 during sex, and my current boyfriend is the only man who has ever made me 💧 multiple times. The longer you’re together and the more you do it the more you learn each other and continue getting better as well. 😊

Answer

This is much more common than you may think.
Since you can orgasm when you masturbate, you likely already know the answer without even realizing it. You have two organs down there. One for reproduction and one for pleasure. Since they are so close together, they get confused, and besides, sex-ed sucks big time.

Your vagina is for reproduction. It is your birth canal, and a safe place for your partner to ejaculate his sperm to get you pregnant. It is also an outlet for your menstrual flow. To protect you from trauma caused by pain, your vagina is largely without nerve endings, leaving it mostly with very little feeling. If it was very sensitive inside, child birth, menstruation, inserting tampons, infections and sex would be intolerable. Unfortunately sex with a male partner is mostly concentrated around your vagina with his penis pumping in and out of it.

Your clitoris is actually your primary pleasure organ. It is the equivalent of the male penis, except that you do not ejaculate, and you do not pee through it. It is a massive organ, going almost 15 cm inside your body. It forms 2 wishbone structures, the 2 fat bulbs that are going under your lips towards your vaginal entrance, and two thin long legs that goes deeper in your body. Just that little tip that you can see and feel (the glans) has more than 8,000 nerve endings, making it the most sensitive organ anywhere on a human body. In other words, it is made for stimulation, leading to orgasms. That is quite literally its only job – pleasure leading to orgasms.

During normal sex, most women do not get enough stimulation to their clitoris to orgasm. Only about 20% to 30% can orgasm from just intercourse. Research has shown that it is because their clitoris is close enough to their vaginal opening so that the thrusting of the penis also stimulate their clitoris. The rest of us need extra clitoral stimulation to orgasm during sex. There are a number of ways to achieve this. It may feel unnatural in the beginning, but it will become second nature pretty quickly and it holds the keys to a great sex life.

During sex, you need to stimulate your clitoris. You can do it with your fingers, his fingers, a small clitoral vibrator, a couples vibrator or by changing how you move during sex. Giving your clitoris extra stimulation by rubbing or vibration is easier done with you on top, or him behind you. And it is pretty much just masturbating while he is inside you.

Changing the way you move can also give you great orgasms. With him fully inside you, tilt your pelvis so that your clitoris makes contact with his body. The rub, squeeze and grind in small movements on him. There is no rule that states that sex must be the in/out up/down that does so little for you. When you get more adept with this, you can even end the in-stroke with a sweep of your clitoris on his body, giving you back this typical in/out motion. This is also much easier done with you on top where you can control the movements. 

There is even a sex position that achieves this very efficiently called the coital alignment technique (or C.A.T.). You can google it. It takes some practice and experimentation, and I think it is easiest done with a long term partner.

Answer

I’m really interested in this topic and am doing a research project on it in my psychology degree. If you have some time I’d love it if you could fill out the anonymous survey I have linked on my profile, I’m trying to answer this question you’re asking yourself through science. Hope you can take 10 minutes to fill it out I think your input would be really valuable ☺️

Can’t cum from sex?

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