sexual assault talk..

im just sharing this story and fair warning it’s a little upsetting. i feel the need to share because i don’t have anybody close to me.. i was sexually assaulted by a close guy friend nov of 2021. i was begged and one time forced into doing sexual favors to him. he treated me very terribly, used me. today i had really bad flashbacks to the night it happened, i was consensually giving my boyfriend head (who i trust with my life) and when he was about to finish he pushed my head down all the way. which he knows not to do because i’ve always been scared of it after. i honestly wasn’t expecting it and wasn’t expecting to freak out so much. my boyfriend knows what happened so it took me by surprise. sadly i couldn’t let him touch me or get close to me for a bit. i couldn’t breathe, i was in immediate panic. i honestly try my hardest to ignore and forget what happened that night with the guy. but it’s sadly times like that where i simply cannot. i felt so guilty afterwards. feel really bad.

thanks for reading.