Is cheating really THAT common?

Question

Hey ladies! 
So I’m in a new relationship, and thinks have been great! He’s never given me a reason to doubt him for cheating. I’ve been cheated on in the past by literally ever single guy I was with and it’s heart breaking. Yesterday I was sitting with my bf and he was showing me a video on his phone when he got an Instagram notification from a girl I never heard of. I instantly got nervous and went to her Instagram and noticed he likes a lot of her pics (none are sexy, some selfies but nothing big) and that made me worry more. But then I got thinking he did make a huge story today about his day with his brother so maybe she was responding to that…? I’m trying to talk myself out of the “he’s cheating”. Because I really don’t want to think EVERY GUY is going to cheat, but it’s so hard not to think that immediately when it’s always happened. Thoughts?

Answer

I think everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt until they give you a reason to doubt them. Me, I’ve never been cheated on that I know of, and I know a lot of people in my same situation. So while cheating is common, not everyone cheats!

Answer

Girl Im in the same boat as you. Both my past serious relationships I got cheated on. My current bf has never given me a reason to doubt him. He has been cheated on too, and has expressed how much against his morals it is.
But I still get paranoid like everytime he has to work late it crosses my mind. Its like PTSD.
I think the stat in the USA is that 16% of white guys (married) admit to have cheated (22% of black men, 13% of Hispanic). Idk how accurate self-report on cheating is though.
Another stat is 20-40% of married straight men, and 20-25% of married straight women will have an affair in the US.

Answer

From what I understand, about half of all married people will cheat at some point in their lives. 
But also, in my experience, I've never cheated and only one person actually cheated on me out of like 9 official partners. 
I think your fear is definitely based on your experience, which sucks- but building real trust is both possible and very important to build a foundation for a healthy relationship. 
This will take some very open conversations with your partner most likely in order to understand what exactly you can and can't expect with them- and then realize that building trust does require giving someone the benefit of the doubt in many cases. That doesn't mean don't talk about it- but clearly you have the impression they're a decent person if you are dating them, so why not think they have good intentions before talking to them & when talking to them about things?
If they show you they aren't decent by refusing to give any reassurance or having honest communication, then you leave- long before you get cheated on. 
If you are specifically worried about cheating, you should date people who also view cheating as morally wrong and wouldn't allow themselves to do that- maybe naturally guilty people like me 😹 like I've always been naturally polyamourous so I can like lots of people- but I am too guilty to ever cheat & I haven't even done anything 🙃 I'd just die of guilt if I actually cheated- so I don't. 
And some people do just need to stay out of the way of temptation and know how to avoid it. Like I can say no right in the face of temptation- some people do have a harder time with that. (I just can't say no to candy.) But yeah it's best not to even put yourself in an awkward situation. 
So there definitely are people who won't cheat, who don't even experience much desire to do that. It is complicated in longer term relationships, especially ones with bad communication. But I think you can usually avoid early-on cheaters by avoiding people with questionable character and by avoiding relationships with poor communication.

Answer

I'd just ask him when it comes up say hey who's that? Or something casual. The right guy will show you what's going on and will be honest with you. Not every guy cheats you just have to find the right one. He deserves the benefit of the doubt and if you have to I would just explain to him how you feel, say you've had a bad past and just need the reassurance. The right guy will happily reassure you 🥰