Makes me question some things

So my sister and her husband are going through a divorce. They have been together over 12 years, bought a home, had a daughter. You would think they were the perfect couple and had the perfect life. Everyone thought they did. but things were deff happening behind the scenes. Her husband didn’t put effort into it, he played games and barely was around her or er daughter. He was there but wasn’t if it makes sense. She would tell me their sex life was so boring, it was the same old stuff, she would try to spice things up with different things and get all sexy with lingerie and there was nothing he would do. It made me question like that’s exactly how it is with my partner. It’s the same old sex. No matter what I do to try to spice it up it’s literally just getting right into it and it lasts a few mins and done. He doesn’t do any oral, he won’t kiss me or touch me or put me in the mood it’s just stick it in and done. Yes it’s Always bothered me but honestly we both Work have 3 kids. Like both of us are tired so I chalked it down to that until today when I realized I’m tired being a mother. Working, cleaning this home doing everything and I still try to put effort into spicing things up and wanting more….

Anyway, today my sister was messaging me and telling me her husband has a new girlfriend living in their house ( they are separated and getting things in order for a divorce and she moved out with a friend ) and she was telling me he re did the house, he put the frame back on their bed ( which he hated and never wanted it on so she took it off ) and how the whole house is spotless and he never used to clean with her and when she was in the house getting some of her stuff that’s was still left she saw sex toys laying by the bed which he never wanted to do with her either. I was mentioning this stuff to my partner and he basically said “ her husband is trying to go out of his way to impress the new girl and how when your with someone new your going to go out of your way sexually to do things you wouldn’t typically do when your with someone for so long and you put more effort into things and sexually put more effort into it to impress and get them attracted to you, and he’s gonna clean the house and do things he wouldn’t normally do since when your with someone for so long you get comfortable”.

And this comment just didn’t sit right with me. While I know that makes sense if still kind of disturbs me because if that’s how he thinks like why doesn’t he put effort in our sex life? It just makes me feel like if we ever split for whatever reason the new girl will get all the stuff I wanted in my relationship. And you know I never really thought about it until this whole topic. And convo was said today. I’m starting to re think the relationship and if I’m really being treated how I deserve. My partner does the bare minimum with the house and kids and now I just realize he’s capable of it all but because he’s comfortable and we have been together so long that he doesn’t feel the need to put the effort into it?

What are your opinions?

Am I over thinking what he said or?