I hate my weight gain

I’ve gained between 50-60 pounds in the last year or so maybe like 15 months. I’ve gotten to a point where I can’t stand myself. I avoid pictures with my kids, I avoid family gatherings l, I don’t go out and see friends, I avoid people at work by staying in my cube all day. Idk what to do really. I’ve seen a metabolic dr, I’ve done low carb, I’ve done WW, I’ve had 2 different trainers. I can’t keep myself motivated. Ive gotten blood work and all comes back normal. I’m prediabetic and have kind of high cholesterol. My Dr recommended I look into weight loss surgery but I’m seriously afraid of that. I hate myself lately. Summer is coming and I’m just dreading the thought. I’ve never hated the way I looked, I’ve always been very curvy and full, and have been pretty good at embracing it. But i know it’s getting bad. I was texting my brother one day and said hey I’m thinking of you and he’s like “why don’t you think of yourself sometimes instead of always putting others first? Take care of yourself, I’m worried for you”. My moms always sending me diet plans and recipes. My best friend randomly texted me one day and was like “hey so I’m on day 2 of this weight loss challenge with my sister” and it felt like she wanted me to follow up with like “tell me more”, same thing, my cousins started a fitness challenge doing 21 day fix and were like begging me to join. I know these are gentle ways of them getting a point across as if I don’t already know what I look like. Im at a wits end. My mom made me feel horrible and said my kids are going to be taken from her by their dad when I die because I’m selfish and don’t take care of myself and that I’m killing mused slowly. It’s so hard for me, I’m out the door at 6:45-7am, work until 5, get in around 7-8pm. And just am exhausted afterwards. I feel like a stranger in my body. Im 267 now and I weighed 180 when my daughter turned 1 several years ago. I weigh more now than I ever did pregnant with either one of my kids and it’s just mentally and emotionally taking a toll on me. I want to start dating but my confidence is seriously so shot right now. I don’t get flirted with anymore 😥😥 and I’ve been single for like 4 years. 😭😭😭 just needed to vent