Falling out of love?

I’ve been with my bf going on 9 years and we have a child together. Now let me just start off by saying he is a good person with a good head on his shoulder and not to mention good looking. Since I’ve been with him I haven’t had to worry about bills or money, which is great. However, he hasn’t been the best boyfriend to me. He does the bare minimum when it comes to me as far as emotionally, romantically and being, I guess you can say, a partner.

I do work, so for the most part I can take care myself financially. So to me, I’d rather get the emotional and romantic part from him. Now I wish I could say that is the only problem, but I feel like he has no respect for my feelings or the relationship. He has done things that might be a big deal to some but not a big deal to others. Either way he’s done things that bothered me and made me feel uneasy but I told myself it wasn’t worth ending our relationship. It wasn’t cheating (that I know of) or abusing me physically. Most people are would tell me that they would have left and not dealt with it. He also fought with me over things that I didn’t do or things out of my control and telling me things that really hurt me. And I was expected to do all the house work and go to work. He never help with cleaning or cooking I even took care of HIS kids our whole relationship up until 6 months ago when they started going with their mom.

So one night after an argument he told me I should just go get my own place (which he’s said many times before) but that night I applied for an apartment and got approved. I told him I got approved for an apartment thinking he would stop me, but didn’t. When they sent me the lease to the apartment I showed it to him, again thinking he would stop me and he didn’t he actually signed it for me. So I asked him how long I should sign the lease thinking he would say a shorter term bc he mentioned before he wanted a little space. (Yes I know I’m dumb lol) but he said 12 months. Anyways I ended up moving in after a couple of weeks he says he wants to change and wants me to come back and terminate my lease (which is $2500). Honestly even though it was only a month of being alone, I really enjoyed it. I told him that I wanted to maybe stay with him on the weekends and make sure we will be ok. Well he told me he didn’t want to do that either I go back or we move on. I didn’t want to lose him, especially since he said he would change (I know I know, they all say that) of course that made me happy. Although I did not terminate my lease and haven’t moved anything back to his place, I have been staying with him for about a week and a half. I’m NOT happy there at all. It’s not really him, it’s just being in that house drives me nuts. I know I love him still but idk if either of us are in love with each other. He’s the type of guy that is into work, he has his own business so he’s always “working” even at home and just pays attention to that. So we are in the same house but still distant. I don’t feel like anything has really changed since I’ve been there except he shows me like 10% more affection and he put dishes away once. I’m just not sure if we should move on or continue to try. I’m not looking to move on as in date other guys bc honestly with men/guys these days there isn’t much hope. I just don’t want to deal with all of the above, and still not be appreciated. But I also don’t want to risk losing my family. I don’t know what to do. As you can tell this is the only relationship I’ve been in besides high school lol I just see and hear about girls and their husbands treat them like queens or at least as an equal. 🤷🏻‍♀️ any advice?