Last year I was happily in love and was in a seemingly stable relationship. We decided to try for a baby, and in July we were blessed with a positive test. But after only a week of knowing, I had a miscarriage at around 4 weeks. That was the first of many downfalls to come. By the end of summer, I discovered one ugly truth after the other. I still didn't leave my SO. He decided to leave our current residence and moved to his birth country, due to losing his job. He managed to create a bad name for himself where we lived. Torned to pieces, I wasn't sure if I was going to follow or not. I spent three months visiting him to see if this new country could be something for me or not. By December I had gone through so much, and decided I wouldn't continue, and finally ended the relationship. There was too much pain, and I couldn't take it anymore. I was done. He still had hopes, and was sure he was going to make it good again. And here's the plot twist; after his visit in end of December/ start of January, I ended up pregnant. After my previous loss, I comforted myself with the thought of my body knowing this wasn't good. I wasn't meant to have a baby with him. And even after continuing the relationship, I didn't fall pregnant. I was sure my body refused to welcome HIS baby due to the pain and hurt. But no. I'm pregnant with his baby, and have no plans of moving to another country. I will pretty much raise this baby on my own, with the dad visiting from time to time. I still have no hopes of me and him working things out. None of us are moving. So this is the situation. I'm happy about the pregnancy, but the conditions aren't the best. Luckily I have a lot of support from friends and family, and the fact that my mother went through the same when she got pregnant with me, makes me confident I can do it too. You have a perfect picture of how you want it to be, but reality doesn't always give you that. I'm currently 11+3