Panic before beta draw

I don’t know if anyone else has dealt with this but I started this cycle swearing I wasn’t going to test early. Of course, I did anyways. Even with literally 20 positive pregnancy tests on the counter I broke down crying today out of fear for my blood draw on Monday. I’m terrified that I’ll go in and my numbers will be bad or it will be negative and I just keep going back through the previous 7 years of thinking I was pregnant when I wasn’t, thinking I saw two lines when there weren’t, holding onto hope even after being told I would never conceive without IVF. I need some advice on how to keep myself sane until Monday. And yes, I have already thrown away any unused tests I have left so I could attempt to stop the obsessive testing.