Emotional 😭, depressed..

I don’t know where to start coz it’s a really long story but I want to start with saying how bad I feel again I can’t even look in the mirror I don’t recognise my self anymore! 😢 I don’t want to feel like this I’m crying my self to sleep again I didn’t have this feeling for a month but now it came back and it’s all coz of him!!! Always making me feel bad for everything I apologise for the things I know I’m not to blame for and haven’t done anything wrong but I still end up apologising I hate the way he talks to me the ugly names he’s calling me when his angry 😡 😢😢 and then blaming my self that everything is my fault and I’m convincing my self to believe it’s really my fault! 😢😢😞😞 I’m so tired 😔 I’m really tired 😔 of feeling like shit like I would have a huge pressure on my chest and I can’t get rid of I want to scream and cry really loudly but I can’t I have to cover my mouth to cry so one could hear me 😢😢😢 I feel like I haven’t done anything good in my life or wasn’t good enough for anyone.. sometimes I’m thinking of ending it and maybe everyone would be happier but then I’m thinking about my daughter and remind my self that she’s the best thing that could happened to me she’s my light 💡 how could I leave her I couldn’t 😢😢 but I just don’t know what to do I’m going to see a counsellor on Monday never tried it so this will be my first time 😞 maybe it will help me or it won’t… I just hate the feeling i hate the way I feel the way I

Look just hate everything about myself 😢😢😢😢😔😔😔 all I want is to be happy have a nice happy family am I asking for to much? Had to write it somewhere as can’t talk to no one anymore. 😞😞😞