For some reason the anniversary is hitting harder than I thought it would. I’m having terrible panic attacks. I keep waking up having such VIVID dreams about that night and I’m feeling so… weird. My PTSD is on level 10 today and it’s only just the start of the day for me.

But this is my story— don’t read past here if you don’t want to know the gruesome details of what happened to me.

I went to a party with my boyfriend when I was in high school. He and 4 of his friends drugged me, held me down, while everyone took their turn raping me and beating me. I rode with my boyfriend to the party so I didn’t have a way home. He and his friends just drug me to a ditch and left me for dead. I was found 3 days later by a mailman and was flown to the hospital, where I had to stay for 6 weeks. I had multiple reconstructive surgeries and have no permanent damage to my outside appearance. Some internal damage still remains but I was lucky to live through it.

Today I’m on edge and will be staying home with all the doors locked. I’ve been doing better (mentally) for the past few years but today is so SO hard.