Do I Have a Right to be Upset?

Question

I (F22) feel so pathetic writing this right now but I feel sick to my stomach. So backstory - I've been on and off in a relationship with a guy (M23) for a little over 3 years. He was my first love and I was his as well as each other's first time. We are also each other's best friend. We decided to end things about a month ago due to a horrible fight we had and decided to remain just friends (for like the millionth time). 
However, each time we decide to remain friends, we always end up just fucking and doing relationship things without the label then eventually get back together. Anyways, recently we both decided to join dating apps and pursue other relationships. I've been on a few dates, but yesterday he told me that he just straight up fucked someone - TWICE in the same day.
He kept going on about how beautiful she was but he didn't tell me much else. We tell each other everything. I'm sick. I didn't think I'd be bothered by it but I'm so hurt right now and I don't know what to do. I feel like I have no right to be though. How do I move on from this? I never thought him to be a one night stand type of person. I also don't think I can be sexually involved with him anymore. I can't stop thinking about this and crying. Any advice please? I'm in college and he's in grad school if that helps anything.

Answer

Yes.  But that is also a sign you need your space from him to heal and move on with your life.

Answer

You have the right to be upset. 
But unfortunately if you don’t have label on it than you can’t stop him or get mad at him. You’re allowed to feel upset. But he doesn’t have any commitment to you so it’s to be expected that he will sleep with others, just like you can also sleep with other people. That’s the point of friends with benefits 
Since you still have feelings you’ll need to sort out what you want to do. If you continue with him, he will still be having sex with other women and you’ll have to be okay with it. But you can also have sex with others also.
If you want sex but without feelings, you’ll need to find a new guy to do that with.

Answer

My bf and I have an open relationship so I can kind of relate. He used to tell me when he had sex with other people. It made me feel sick and I didn’t want to be intimate with him anymore. I kept replaying in my mind what he said, even years later I still think about it. I told him I don’t want to know about it, just for my peace of mind. 
 If you feel you need boundaries then go ahead and set them.  Probably better to not talk about things like that, that’s some thing he should tell a guy friend instead.

Answer

This is just a mess he obviously has no respect for you it’s common knowledge not to tell someone you have years of history with how you fucked somebody and bragging about it. Block him, you deserve better.

Answer

I think the best thing is to cut off the relationship for now. Maybe once time heals the wound you can be friends again

Answer

Based off of y’all history, it makes sense while you’re upset and in your feelings. But, moving forward you need to set the necessary boundaries to be able to be comfortable in YALL friendship. I’ve learned to stop doing stuff as “a couple” if we agree we’re only friends because I started to expect “couple treatment” afterwards. After awhile you may be comfortable enough to talk to him about what’s going on in his personal life but it takes time. I would definitely take sex off the table, you’re obviously still emotionally attached to him so that’s not going help. I would only have sex with a guy from the past if I loss my emotional attachment to him, if not I’ll always start talking about “what are we doing or what are we afterwards.” Sooo. You have to do what’s best and most comfortable for you ❤️ Good luck girl!

Answer

You’re only upset because of residual feelings and hormones. This guy means nothing. One day you’ll be an old woman whose been through many relationships and this won’t matter. Go be a hoe, it builds character. He’s already moved on cause men don’t get attached the same way we do. They know they have other options and they use those options. Use your options and cut off contact with him. He’s not your man and he’s of no more use. He can talk about his sexual escapades with you because you’re now his homegirl not his girlfriend. 
You’ll be boiling on the inside while he’s still fantasizing about the new pussy he just got and wants to dip in again. He’s 23 and in his prime, you’re 22 in your prime there’s no attachments or real love here. Ya’ll don’t have kids and there was no wedding. Just a bond that you construed because of time but in the end it didn’t really mean anything. What did you two really have?

Answer

Hi I am wait

Do I Have a Right to be Upset?

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