I need help! And I really hope someone reads this

It's been a whirlwind of a couple of day! First I found out my sister has offered to carry my ex's baby through artificial insemination as it's platonic and they were friends before we even happened, this man is also the love of my life, things have been awkward since I found out I was pregnant, it's of course someone else's baby! The BD is just I don't even know, we talk, he accuses me of starting an argument, punishes me by ignoring me for days at a time, I've been thinking about abortion because mentally I've gone down hill since finding out and BD is making me feel awful constantly telling me you want to kill our baby, then my stupidly poor my heart out to my ex which apparently now I've made being down my sister's awkward as fuck even though I said I should be the one feeling awkward because he doesn't even remotely feel the same way! He also said it was the final chapter for us because I moved on and got pregnant baring in mind he moved on and got a gf first and didn't take my feelings into consideration whatsoever before he jumped into bed with the next bit of fluff, so there's alot of ex drama and alot of BD drama, and I'm just a mess! The ex made it clear that ship sailed, crashed and plummeted to the bottom of the ocean which I knew anyway! And the BD is just punishing me for feeling the way I feel, sometimes I feel like I actually hate him because he causes me nothing but misery and sorrow all the time, we tried hashing it out today but again he said I was being argumentative and again has ignored me, it's been going on for a week, he says it's always my fault and I'm always the one saying I'm sorry and crying and begging for him to talk to me, I'm just so stuck and so lost, I don't know what to do or how to handle it. The worst thing is me and bad ain't even together