It's ok to get along with your in-laws

So I come from a large family I am the first to get along with in-laws since my grandparents most of my family don't see there Partners family as there own or will just stright up say they don't like them(on my dad's side he has 7 othere brothers and sisters they only go around each othere there Partners and kids then the same with there kids)so on holidays and special occasions I am the only one try to be sure we see and include everyone but then my family started acting like my husband's family was the absolute worst people ever when that didn't work they started saying things about my husband so now we go more places for holidays and special occasions and spend more to be sure we get to see everyone we have been together for 10 years and 7 of them married we have kids and his parents have always been like second parents to me tonight they asked us to go meet them for dinner we used to do stuff like this all the time before the virus with his parents now my aunt and grandma are throwing a fit saying that I do more things with his family then my own we don't actually I go to my grandma's once a week I took to my dad daily we just had supper with my parents Sunday but I am not supposed to with my in-laws my husband's and his dad are going to work on my car this weekend and his mom is going to take the kids so I can go help my parents with a few things but now I don't want to I feel like it's childish to ask a person to trun there ba k on there family considering I wouldn't let a single person in mine watch my kids when we are not around due to there behavior am I wrong for trying to be involved with mine and his family